Then I Know...

When I rise up in the morning weary for the coming day,
When my body groans it's greeting to a world that should be gray,
When the bird's outside my window sing a song I will not hear,
This is when I know...

When that person in the mirror isn't who she ought to be,
When the choices that she's making aren't the ones that set her free,
When all aspiring thoughts have been hushed by self-defeat,
This is when I know...

This is when I know that all I am is not enough.
This is when I know that I am not complete.
This is when i know I'm not what I need.
This is when I know that I don't know...

What is this piece that's missing,
This emptiness inside?
Who is it that I'm meant to be?
What am I meant to do?
Which path to take, which shade to raise,
I want to hear the song, to sing it too.

How do I replace the gray with sunshine
How to let my spirit fly,
Free from the weight of weary,
How to cause hope to arise?

When I've reached this place of wondering
Hear at the end of my rope
With the knot fraying out the last of my hope,
This is when I know...

This is when I know that there is someone
Larger, greater than myself,
Who holds within His hand all the seeds of hope.
This is when i know the answer is found in letting go.
Letting go of that fraying knot and all that came before,
Letting go of all the gray, all the weary, all defeat.
Letting go and falling free into His Hands of Hope.

Just letting go and falling
Into Grace on bended knees
And finding there forgiveness
Wrapped in Peace.
His Holiness finding residence in me.

Now I rise and greet each day
Knowing I'm not alone,
And that image in my mirror really is my own.
I hear the sound of singing
And that song comes from within.
Then I know...

I know that I have found the path
And I know that I can go on
I know that He goes with me
And I'll never be alone.

River, Lake or Mud Puddle

Ever had a thought that rolled around in the cranium and try as you might you just could seem to catch hold of it and flesh it out?  You know the one, it flits in and out over and over for days, but you can't seem to catch it and chew on it.  Well, I have one of those and I am attempting to catch it and digest it so that I can share it with others.  This weekend has been so busy, like most days in the holiday season and I haven't had time to slow down and really 'cogitate', but Sunday evening my pastor made a statement about the church model either being a lake model or a river model.  His thought being that lakes are bodies of water that pretty much sit around and go nowhere; whereas, rivers are moving bodies of water that have a destination.  As he was speaking I thought back to my college classes on geography and geology.  I loved those classes in regard to their information about the earth structure and the forces of nature for change.  When we studied rivers the course work ranged from the origination of a river, to the destination of the river and the evidence the river left behind over the course of time.  Changes!  Mountain streams flowing down the mountain to become rivers gouging out valleys and gorges, always leaving evidence of their passing.  In some places they left wide pleasant valleys, in some places dead river beds as the river changed course, in some places the desolation of flooding, but always evidence of change.   I know that pastors message was related to the fact that someone who enters a church should leave at a different place in life as you cannot go into a river and come out again exactly where you went in because the current will carry you down river to another place.  I however, believe that in addition to taking individuals to a new place in life the church should leave behind evidence of change or impact on the community as a whole.  If the church should be built on the model of the river, then we need to leave evidence of change on the community we are flowing through.  Touch the lives of those outside the four wall of the church building and cause change in the neighborhoods of the city.   God has the power to impact the city, the state, the nation if we as the body of Christ take the leaders of our city, our state, and our nation before the throne of God in prayer.  Rivers cause change unless they are dammed up and become lakes; likewise, God causes change when we open the doors of our church and take Him out into the streets, the highways and the byways.  

There, I think I caught it finally and got it on 'paper'.  I want to be like the river,  I want to leave behind evidence of my passing through, otherwise I'm just a puddle that messes up shoes and eventually dries up.

I Can See Clearly Now...

"Without a vision the people perish"

Vision, where would we be without it?  I wear glasses to correct my eyesight, it makes life easier all around.  Everyone should be glad I wear glasses because I drive a car and without them I don't see clearly,  it could be dangerous to all involved. Glasses are great things and I am glad someone came up with the science needed to correct vision.   I want to make sure that I don't forget to wear my glasses.

Likewise, life in general and living for God in particular requires 'vision'.  The ability to look beyond the natural and see through eyes of faith and find the will of God.  When we become or seek to become builders in the Kingdom of God we need 'vision', clear vision, to see where God would have us go, what God would have us do.  In our natural life we might call this 'vision' goal setting - mapping out a plan for our life.  We've all heard of the 5-year plan, right?  Well, God has an eternal plan.  He has designed us with intent, we are not simply here to hang out until it is time to leave.  We are not perfect; we are flawed individuals whose very weaknesses become the building blocks in His master plan, flawed and imperfect people whose soul-vision is perfected in Him.  Lord, keep my soul-vision, my faith-vision clear and perfected so that I move ever higher, ever closer to You.  I want to see 'clearly' the plan you have for me, my place and my work for Your Kingdom.  Perfect my soul vision so that I may be perfected for Your Kingdom.